It's been quite a few weeks since my last post!
I kept thinking I'd post everyday but didn't want to bore you all with oh woe is me, my shop is closing down dramas everyday...
and then everything happened at once.
I started getting responses from jobs and people and think I may have found something to do, whether it is long term or over Christmas and summer remains to be seen...buy hey it is working in a toy shop with kids and toys. Yes it will be loud and noisy and busy and frantic and crying I am sure but it's a happy place, fun, new things for me to learn especially gift wrapping, there are books too and smiles and all that.
So we'll see.
I've been sick with the flu since Thursday and by Sunday my brain was tired and moody and I caused even more dramas over the weekend.
Well the black smoke cleared yesterday and today and I have submitted two very easy assignments in, I have decided to complete my Journalism course, I have applied for writing jobs on the side with a bit of extra money coming in, I've been parking my car and walking a block or three to work, I am going to start kick boxing when I find a cheapish good class, have a holiday in a month and a half...it's all onwards right?!
I think since July I have been up and down with the shop coming to an end and with affecting my personal life. It really is like having an ongoing struggle where you make all this effort, give in, feel guilty, give up...try a few more things, take a break from it, try something else, make calls, send emails, but it has always been on my mind.
I was tired and now I am just waiting for this last month, trying to sell more books and sell the shop and work out all the last bits before I can do other things and move on.
In the meantime though I lost a few friends, I lost a bit of my own self and I made a huge mistake.
On an onwards note though - we learn from our mistakes right!?
And the mistake was huge, was stupid, I regret it incredibly at the moment, I feel very sad and lost and confused ...
So it's been lots of reading books, lots of me and woe is me and poor me time, apologising to friends who have been there for me and apologies to the one that I really upset and lost,
and I still have the flu...it's clinging on and getting a few sniffs out every now and then...tenacious!
I love the line this too shall pass....