Friday, October 6


Have you noticed that when one thing doesn't work in your life then everything seems to topple around and down at once?! So I'm single, 30, living with a cat and running a book shop - could I be more of a stereotype?! I even look and act ditsy and say dumb things, spill things, drop things but manage to surprise people when I open my mouth to talk about a newspaper article, or politics or a prize winning book...

But over the years I have noticed things about myself that I really don't like! I like being ditsy but well read, trendy yet a bit of a tom boy, out there but pretty conservative but I HATE the misdirected anger. My family gets it the most and will all agree that I'm moody, I rage in traffic (quite therapeutic but ultimately unhealthy) and if someone crosses me - be it a friend who SHOULD know better, or someone hurts someone close to me or if I just FEEL that the person is doing something wrong - I lose it. And I say terrible things which I mean but don't mean - if you know what I mean! And then I quieten, I calm, I return to a somewhat temperate state and leave the other person with the hurt that it's caused...

I judge others very harshly, I speak badly about someone in particular who is meant to be a friend (Grace - you know who I mean) and I decided last night and thanks to watching Love Actually over the weekend that it's enough. That part made me cry; this guy is in love with Keira Knightley who is married to his best friend and he finally decides that he HAS to deal with it and walks away. i have a few things to deal with, my shops needs help and advice from others - I am no expert; my friends need to do what they need to do and I need to stop being so angry :)
Hard one! Any advice?!
Besides stop losing it, count down, stop judging... it's going to require a lot of effort!
I have come up with my logo design and a friend is re doing or doing a website and giving me loads of advice...please all of you who know me - give me your advice; it's all misdirected anger!

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