Weeks go by ...

Sometimes weeks pass by and I feel like I have not got anything done until I look at the actual time.

I've updated the database at work and organised a schedule for my boss while she is away. I've made phone calls, looked at book lists, compiled book lists, arranged meetings this takes a lot of time at work.

When I get home I watch TV or read.

I've read The River Baptists and have just started reading The Chore Whore and Generation Dead two books I randomly picked up and I am reading at once.

Generation Dead is a teen book about a school which also has dead teens - it's an interesting twist and Chore Whore is about a celebrity assistant who works 29 hour days and does ridiculous errands for celebrities - I love her take on the celebrities, the gifts she has to buy and how she has to clear perfumes at customs, it's so mundane and banal, but she explains her life and her job - it's interesting to read.

I spent the weekend cleaning out my pantry and donating a box of food, cans and the like to a charity and then put together books I am no longer going to read and putting them on this book stand near Bondi where people swap books, it's a really cool concept.

I went shopping and organising but I still feel my life is empty. I spent the day in the rain, had a coffee at a local bookshop, walked around but I am still looking for purpose and meaning and watching DVDs , reading books, organising my flat and doing a good job at work don't give me the meaning I am after.

I want more, full days, a sense of achievement, a connection with someone, a bond ... might mean if I am not in a relationship or raising children, I might get that through volunteering instead?

Weeks go by and I do pointless, meaningful things, I have to find some sense of worth and value in my time off or I'll fall apart.