Saturday, August 26


I have so much to do in the shop and am I am sure I could achieve so much more but am feeling very vague this week! I am Neither Here Nor There (sorry Bill Bryson!)
I have at least compiled a list of all the things I need to do and started speaking to a few people, but just feel so out of it lately! Don't worry I am not a drug addict - I am just tired and sleepy and need a bit of a perk up! Some of my friends have suggested boys as the answer (or temporary measure!) so have been recommending dating sites, nights out and a function in a couple of weeks time. I have agreed to most of the suggestions based on the bands playing, the idea of some sort of meal taking place and the fact that as soon as the nights get lighter; I want to be out there!
I sense that something huge is coming to an end and am now going to start changing one of the biggest things about myself - my fear of getting hurt - so I tend to do the hurting instead. I get moody and emasculating (lol I am sure Grace is laughing at this and my sis!) and instead of saying to someone come closer, just hold me or something; I push and hurt and go hide!
Silly - eh!
It's funny how everything affects everything else; the shop itself is going through a quiet patch and I am going through an internal overhaul; so it seems that they are not good for each other! Over the past week, Pops has rearranged and we are going on a HUGE buy today so we can rearrange further and discuss some bigger changes to the shop. I am looking at cards and companies and having a big clean out!
Last night I went to get take aways and DVDs on the way home to spend the night in with Hemmy!
I stopped at a place because I wanted to buy Hemmy lamb and asked for a portion of lamb (minus the pita etc) not expecting them to agree; but they did with huge smiles on their faces and just served it up.
I thought ;I was having the worst week, until now (sorry stole that line from a movie with Julia Roberts)
This morning though has already perked me up; I have had at least 10 customers in and it's only 11am! I have spoken to and seen two close friends, had a large tea, swept the shop, patted a dog, chatted to some kids and just soaked in how it's the tiniest, simplest things that make me happy and keep me going! Now all I need to do is verbalise my moods and ask for a hug or a touch or a minute...

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